Dezmond "Dezira" Barba

Mailing Address:

Dezmond Barba #254138

Utah State Correctional Facility
P. O. Box 165300
Salt Lake City, UT 84116


I was born on April, 2002. I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community (Trans). I am half Mexican/half Native American (Arapaho). I have been playing guitar for six years. I started in 2016 (1 year from being in max). I grew up in Ogden, UT. I love all forms of music. After asking others how they would describe me, they responded: Blunt, strong, loyal, persistent, and "dorky." Another said, "spontaneous, creative, musical, silly."


Guitars, men, happiness

I am still working on my fight for sobriety. I can see where I want to be: clean, bills paid, working off this unit, and exercising just about everyday. When I first hit max and went to restricted housing, I would wake up, do some yoga, meditate, study, read, write, work out, birdbath, and read and write for over 30 days. I worked out every day. I met Besar, fell in love, and started “using” again. Now, I just want to be able to be me. I'm happy because I’m putting in work to make me feel better, like studying, writing, and the above.


So, I am not going to “use” as of the 29th, which is Wednesday.


“Waiting, for I am the only one who can overcome the next 8 years. Shall I dwindle into decay every day working for the spoon? Rather, will I feed upon the knowledge hidden within these walls around me? Push my body into health, my mind over the walls to become free, spread my wings, and fly far from here. To once again feel love’s sweet, warm embrace and to once again be a father, brother, lover, and son. Let us walk into the now just for today, sowing seeds, time ever unraveling, into tomorrow, into freedom, into bliss.”



Phil H.